If you want to understand 98% of the unhappiness in the world — whether it is on the stage of international politics or the stage of your kitchen or bedroom or wherever your arguments happen, continue reading…
The book I have just finished is called Immortal Combat — Countering the Darkness Within — and my thinking for this book has been much influenced by Rene Girard and the German philosopher Max Scheler. Scheler’s little book Ressentiment is stunning. He picks up on Nietzsche’s idea of ressentiment and corrects Nietzsche. Both Germans use the French word ressentiment because they didn’t have a German word for their concept.
I simplify it in my discussions by capitalizing the word “Resentment”. This Resentment is not just feeling bad because Henry got a bigger piece of pie or Sally called me a bad name. Instead Resentment is the brooding review or a grievance over and over again in our minds. I call it a “Resentment Loop”. We go over a conversation in our mind…”Next time I’ll really tell her what I think…I should have said…He never should have done that. Next time I’ll teach him a lesson…You wait and see.” This inner monologue is really an inner dialogue. We play a scene out in our minds over and over again in what can be an endless cycle of bitter resentment.